Functionality
by Random1377
Summary: [To Heart] a heavyhanded attempt to make a decent To Heart fic.  Multi and Hiro centric. T for sap and mushy stuff.


Disclaimer: To Heart is owned by LEAF/Aquaplus. Should they, or anyone affiliated with them, request it, I will remove this not-for-profit story from the web. Thanks.

Functionality

By Random1377

Hiroyuki Fujita sat alone in the school cafeteria, staring out at the dark summer sky with a faint frown on his face. As Masashi Satou was working on a class project, and Akari Kamishigi was out sick, he was eating alone… and it was doing nothing to lighten his already dismal mood.

_Where is everyone?_ he thought irritably. _Even Aida and Suzuhara aren't here – and they never skip a meal! Did I miss the 'no one's going to hang out at lunch' memo, or something?_

He sighed. About the only person around, if you could even call her that, was the synthetic maid currently employed by the school – Multi. With green hair and eyes, and two large antennae where her ears should be, Multi definitely stood out in a crowd, though just about everyone in school was familiar with her odd appearance by then. She could always be seen tearing through the halls with her push broom, or sweeping leaves away from the front walkway of the school, humming brightly to herself as she worked.

And Hiroyuki could understand why she hummed. After all, it had only been a few weeks since the company that manufactured her had nearly scrapped her for being an 'inferior' model.

_It's kind of hard to think of her has having a manufacturer,_ he mused as the maid swept a small pile of trash into a dustpan, _she_ _seems so human sometimes – Hell, she even FEELS like a regular girl…_

Multi, unfortunately, was rather clumsy – one of the main reasons her manufacturers had nearly recalled her – so Hiroyuki had experienced more than his share of run-ins (literally) with the green-haired robot, giving him firsthand knowledge of just how realistically she had been crafted.

_Better stop thinking about it, pervert,_ he told himself, turning his attention back to his lunch as Multi stood up and emptied the contents of her dustpan into a nearby dumpster. _She might be soft, but she's still all gears and circuits and stuff._

Taking a swig of his milk, Hiroyuki found his thoughts wandering back to Multi's construction in spite of his best intentions. He could not help thinking about _why_ anyone would need a robot maid to be that realistic. Having her look and act human was one thing, but why proportion her body so invitingly? Why make her so soft, or so cute?

His frown deepened as he stared down at his lunch, the obvious answer presenting itself in whispered, breathy mental tones.

"Pervert," he muttered to himself, trying to shake off the surprisingly vivid image that popped into his head. "There's no way they'd-"

"Who's a pervert, Sempai?"

Hiroyuki jumped, nearly spilling his milk as he glanced up to find the subject of his decidedly impure thoughts leaning over the cafeteria table and studying him intently. He resisted the urge to stare down at her cleavage, the thought, _Why_ _does she need them that big?_ flashing through his mind before he could stop it.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, covering his mouth with his fist, "Ohayo, Multi."

"Ohayo, Hiroyuki-Sempai," Multi replied cheerfully, straightening and giving him a little wave. "Is your lunch good?"

Hiroyuki shrugged. "Eh, it's ok," he said indifferently, "you want to try some?"

Shaking her head and giggling weakly, Multi replied, "No thank you, Sempai… you know I can't eat things."

"Oh, right…"

_Forgot she's a robot again, didn't you, perv?_

"Sempai? Are you ok? …you're all red."

Forcing his mind into a more productive thought pattern, Hiroyuki gestured to the seat across from him. "Have a seat," he said coolly, ignoring her question about his rising color. "You don't have any chores going right now, do you?"

Multi shook her head. "I've gotta sweep the halls later, and I have to help clean up after lunch, but I'm done for now," she said, dropping gratefully into the chair. "Ahh, that feels nice."

"Why didn't you just sit down in the first place?" Hiroyuki wondered, taking a bite of bread. "We're friends, right? You don't have to wait for me to invite you."

"S-sorry, Sempai," Multi stammered, "it's just programming, I guess."

Finding that his interest in the conversation was already turning to ambivalence, Hiroyuki shrugged. _Programming,_ he thought dismally, _that's the second time in like, five minutes I've thought of her like a real person. Maybe that's why they built her like that – so idiots like me will keep looking down her shirt and forget that what we're seeing is synthesized tissue covering steel and hardwired circuitry._

Multi had gone over her specifications in some detail one day, happily answering all of the questions Hiroyuki's friends posed, though in all honesty, Hiroyuki himself had not paid all that much attention. Neutrality was his watchword – a fact Masashi never let him forget – so he tried not to get too involved with other people's affairs.

In general, Hiroyuki found that there was not much in life to get really excited about. It was not that he did not care, or that he had no interest in his friends lives, it was more that getting worked up over minor details like who was dating who, or scores on the last test, or how awful the new homeroom teacher was… just didn't seem all that important to him.

He tried listening to his friends' problems, and actually managed to offer some pretty good advice sometimes, but there were very few occasions when he was the one to suggest a party or a concert.

_When you think about it,_ he mused, taking a long pull off his drink, _it's kind of surprising that they still hang out with me. I mean-_

"Ummm… Hiroyuki Sempai…?"

"Mm?" the young man swallowed, pausing to ask, "What is it, Multi?" before taking another swig, secretly thankful that he had something else to think about besides his lack of emotional engagement with his friends.

"Can you tell me what a kiss feels like?"

Hiroyuki choked on his milk.

"Oh, Sempai! Are you ok?" Multi reached over and slapped him on the back, looking around in consternation as half of the students in the lunch room swiveled to see what the ruckus was.

"F-fine," Hiroyuki gagged, pounding his chest with his fist. "I'm… fine." Finally getting himself under control, he set his milk down (just to be sure) and turned his full attention to the robot maid. "Now… what are you talking about?"

Multi looked flustered. "Kissing," she said, keeping her voice low as numerous pairs of eyes lingered on them. "You know – when a boy and a girl like each other, they-"

"I know what a kiss _is_," Hiroyuki cut in, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Why are you asking me? Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lot about kissing?"

"Er, yes…?" Multi squeaked, trying to disappear into her chair as several of the closer students picked up on the thread of their conversation and began to giggle.

Hiroyuki pursed his lips, shooting his classmates a withering glance before sliding his chair back from the table. "Come on," he said tiredly, "let's go outside… too stuffy in here."

_Too stuffy, too lame,_ he thought darkly, stomping out of the cafeteria with Multi right behind him. _Man, I don't know why I'm in such a bad mood today… loosing my temper over some whispering dorks is so uncool!_

On most days, Hiroyuki would have just brushed the laughing and pointing – and actually, most days he probably would not have even noticed… he was usually too laid back to pay attention to things like that. Perhaps it was the fat, low-hanging clouds, he thought absently as he lead Multi through the school to a more secluded spot, but he was definitely in a foul mood, and having the maid ask him about kissing, of all things, seemed to push all of his buttons at once.

No, he thought wearily, finally settling on the currently empty art room, it was definitely not a good day.

"Now," he said, sliding the door closed, "what's all this about kissing?"

"Umm, I didn't mean to make you mad, Hiroyuki-Sempai," Multi said with some embarrassment, "I just thought maybe you would know how kissing feels, and maybe… maybe you could tell me."

Hiroyuki shrugged. "Who told you I would know about that?" he wondered, finding himself more baffled than angry.

_Wouldn't have been Akari,_ he thought as he waited for the maid's reply. _I mean, we've been friends a long time and all… but she's never like, wanted to go OUT or anything. Kinda too bad, really… she's cute._

Refocusing his attention on Multi, and never even guessing what Akari really felt for him, Hiroyuki added, "I'm probably not the best person to ask about this kind of stuff."

"But I'm… not really comfortable talking to anyone else," Multi blurted. "Please Hiroyuki-Sempai, can't you just describe it for me?"

"Can't you talk to your programmer or something?" Hiroyuki grumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

Multi looked awkward. "I can't," she said listlessly, "I've been forbidden from asking about intimacy-related topics."

_Forbidden…?_

Before Hiroyuki could ask why the maid had chosen this word, her eyes lit up with inspiration. "Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, "But you can, Sempai!"

"Huh?"

Multi hurried on excitedly. "My creator," she said quickly, "he said that if I ever have a question I absolutely cannot find an answer for, to send the person asking it to him, since he knows so much."

"Sounds like a great guy," Hiroyuki muttered, imagining a swaggering, spectacled man with graying hair and a pompous grin. "Who knows? Maybe he can teach me to program you myself."

"Well, probably not _him_," Multi said nervously, "but maybe one of his assistants. They're very nice… though I think it's kind of complicated, and… oh, you were just joking. Sorry…"

"Mm hmm."

_Kinda_ _sounds kinky, if you think about it,_ he mused as the maid started on a new topic, '_can I program you sometime?' It's like something out of one of those hentai mangas, where the robot maid is a sex slave or something. Wow, Mom was right – that stuff really WILL rot your brain…!_

He blinked, realizing that he really should be paying more attention to the robot maid standing in front of him, rather than the ones in his friends' comic book collections.

"…then if you take the Akagi line," Multi was saying, "it'll drop you off right in front of Kurusugawa Electronics' front door. Doctor Fujin or Doctor Raijin should be able to help you out – they both assisted on my programming."

_Wait, _Hiroyuki thought dizzily, _how did we go from 'what does a kiss feel like?' to 'here's how you get to my house?'_

"Er, so just ask them of they can make a program, to tell you what it's like, or what?" he said, feeling lost as to how he had found himself in this situation.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble," Multi said brightly. "It would be so nice of you, Sempai!"

Hiroyuki fiddled with the buttons on his school shirt. "Sure," he mumbled. "Hey, why are you suddenly so interested in this? I mean, you've never mentioned it before…"

"I don't know," Multi said with a shrug. "I just kind of got to thinking about what it would be like, I guess." She bit her lip suddenly. "You don't… _mind_ asking for me, do you, Sempai…? If it's too much trouble, you don't have to, but-"

"It's fine," Hiroyuki sighed, waving a hand, "I don't have anything going on tonight anyway."

Multi looked relieved. "Thank you," she said honestly, "I really do appreciate it, Hiroyuki-Sempai."

"No problem."

Giving the young man a deep bow, Multi made her way from the art room. _He's so nice,_ she thought, heading back down the hall towards the cafeteria, where she would help with the after-lunch cleanup.

She thought of him all during the afternoon, smiling faintly to herself as she did her chores… and never quite allowing her positronic brain to focus on just WHY she had asked him instead of Masashi or Akari or Remmy. She was friends with all of them, of course, and they all created a sensation of warmth in the pit of her stomach when they stopped to talk to her in the halls, but for some reason she had yet to dedicate processor time to, the feeling generated by Hiroyuki's presences was ever so slightly warmer than the others.

( 0 0 0 )

"Ok, you're doing what now?"

Hiroyuki sighed as Masashi scratched his head. "I said I'd go talk to Multi's creator for her," he said grumpily, shrugging on his jacket as they headed towards the school's exit.

"About _kissing_?" Masashi pressed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Dead serious," Hiroyuki sighed. "Not sure _how_ I managed to get talked into it," he murmured, "but there it is."

Masashi chuckled.

Frowning, Hiroyuki wondered, "What's so funny?"

"Eh, nothing," Masashi said, winking briefly. "Just you saying you don't know why you're doing something for Multi."

Hiroyuki's frown deepened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The other boy shrugged. "Come on, man," he said lightly, "you've always gone out of your way for Multi. Everyone in school knows that not matter what it is, if it's Akari or Multi asking, you'll do it." He grinned broadly. "Why do you think they're always asking you to do stuff for all the clubs? People know that if they ask you directly, you'll just tell them you're busy or something… you've kind of got a bad reputation for slacking, Hiro."

"I thought they'd been asking me to do a lot lately," Hiroyuki grumbled.

Masashi glanced down the hall, waving as Multi passed by with her push broom, smiling happily as she waved back. "Good thing she just asked _about_ it instead of asking you to _do_ it," he said sagely.

"Why's that?" Hiroyuki asked, confused.

"She's a robot, man," Masashi laughed, "it'd be like kissing a toaster. Really, Hiroyuki, you kill me with this – as if you'd actually do it or something… hahah!"

Hiroyuki's brows drew down. "You really think she's just a robot?" he asked quietly.

Masashi sobered. "Well, she's kinda… _like_ a person," he said slowly, "but when you get right down to it, yeah, man, she's just nuts and bolts." He shrugged once more. "I wouldn't kiss her, if that's what you're asking… would _you_?"

"Never really thought about it," Hiroyuki replied, shaking his head.

After a moment of silence, Masashi said, "So, would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Come on, man, don't leave me hanging!" Masashi groaned. "Would you kiss her or not?"

Hiroyuki said nothing as Multi whizzed by once more, smiling happily as she passed and giving him a jaunty wave. "I'd have to think about it," he said finally. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

Masashi gave him a sideways glance. "Man, you're in a crappy mood," he said bluntly. "Must be the bad weather… you're always cranky when it's dark out."

"Am I?"

"Yeah."

"Oh…"

With another, wearier sigh, Masashi picked up his pace. "I'll catch you tomorrow," he said, waving over his shoulder. "Remember we're supposed to go to that concert in the afternoon with Akari and Shiho, so don't sleep in too late."

"Right."

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Hiroyuki continued on his way.

_I guess I might as well head over that way now,_ he thought, glancing out the window at the ominous sky. _Get it over with before it starts raining. Huh…_ he mused suddenly, _wonder what Akari's doing…_

( 0 0 0 )

"Achoo!"

Shiho Nagaoka made a face, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she handed Akari a box of tissues. "Gross," she said eloquently. "Just… eww."

"Sorry," Akari sniffled, blowing her nose with a trumpeting honk.

The two friends were sitting in Akari's bedroom, Akari on her bed and clutching a pillow as she shivered, Shiho straddling a chair and looking nauseated.

"How long are you planning to be sick?" Shiho asked, making a show of checking her watch. "That concert is starting in like, twenty-four hours, you know."

Akari looked miserable. "I know, I know," she moaned, pulling her comforter closer around her shoulders and clutching the pillow tighter as another shiver ran through her. "I wanna go so bad!"

Resting her chin on the backs of her hands, Shiho regarded her friend closely. "And after you finally talked Hiroyuki into going, too," she clucked, arching an eyebrow. "Your timing sucks."

"You don't have to rub it in," Akari complained, "he doesn't even really like See Saw."

Unlike Hiroyuki, Shiho kept herself from rolling her eyes. _But he said yes for you, dummy,_ she thought, fighting back and urge to choke her friend. _Just ask him out for God's sake! He'll… wait, why am I just THINKING this?_

"Ask him out!"

Akari paused with a tissue halfway to her nose, goggling at her friend's outburst. "Huh…?"

Scrubbing a hand through her hair, Shiho said, "Look, you've been crushing on this guy for like, years, right? Just ask him out – you're killing me with this song and dance about waiting for the right time and all that. If you wait too long, someone's gonna beat you to it, and they won't be bothered by the fact that he doesn't like See Saw, or drifts off in class."

Slowly, Akari let her hand fall on the bed, smiling faintly as she averted her eyes. "I'm… going to," she said awkwardly.

"Yeah," Shiho snorted, "when Hell freezes o-"

"Tomorrow."

Shiho, caught totally off guard, simply gaped for a moment before murmuring, "Are you serious…?"

Nodding, Akari whispered, "Yeah. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and… and I pretty much figured out that you're right. Hiroyuki-kun isn't going to ask _me_ out – not because he doesn't like me, but because he just doesn't do that kind of stuff."

"That's pretty forward of you," Shiho said admiringly, "why the change of heart? I mean, you know how I used to feel about him, and since we had that talk, I've known how you felt, but you've always seemed happy just sitting back and being his friend."

Akari twisted the comforter nervously in her hands. "I umm, well," she said reluctantly, "it was _because_ of that conversation, actually… I just realized that I really, _really_ want to be with him, and if you were looking at him, maybe other people were too. If I lost him because I waited too long, I'd never be able to forgive myself – and you know Hiro, he won't ask me, because… well… because he just doesn't do that kind of stuff…"

"He _is_ a slacker," Shiho chuckled, still amazed that the redheaded girl had actually gotten up the courage to even think about asking the boy out, let alone planning a day and time. She grinned suddenly. "So are you going to tell him you like him before the concert, or right in the middle, when he can't hear you over all the screaming fangirls?"

Akari looked embarrassed – as if this very thought had been seriously considered when planning out her strategy. "After," she said softly, "when he walks me home."

_And he WILL walk her home, too,_ Shiho thought sagely. _The guy might be a little bit of a slackmeister, but he still manages to be a gentleman… for Akari and Multi, anyway._

Thinking of the green-haired android brought a sly smile to Shiho's face. "Better make sure you don't back down," she said lightly, "I saw him talking to Multi in the lunch room."

Her lips twitching at the corners in a barely withheld smile, Akari snickered, "You think she'll ask him first?"

"I dunno," Shiho shrugged, playing the idea up – more for laughs than anything else. "She _does_ kinda… lean towards him."

Akari tilted her head to the side. "Lean…?" she asked, "I don't understand."

Shiho grinned. "You haven't noticed?" she asked. "When he's nearby, she kinda leans his way – like she's trying to be closer to him without anyone noticing."

"Do you think she likes him?" Akari wondered.

The question was so sincerely curious that Shiho burst out laughing. "Y-you're not… _worried_ about _Multi_, are you?" she gasped, holding her sides and rocking back and forth on the chair. "Oh… oh that's too funny! Hiroyuki dating a robot – that's good! Hahaha!"

Akari – whose shoulders _had_ been tense at the idea – relaxed. "Right," she said weakly, amazed that the thought had ever even crossed her mind. "That is pretty funny, huh?"

"It's hilarious!" Shiho corrected, wiping her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "Hiro and Multi… heheh…"

"Heh…"

Completely abashed, Akari quickly steered the subject around to schoolwork, distracting Shiho by grilling her on the test that Professor Yamaguchi had given that day, pointing out that she would be retaking it and would need every edge she could get… but secretly finding her thoughts meandering back to the uncomfortable image of Hiroyuki and Multi holding hands.

( 0 0 0 )

Hiroyuki stepped off the bus and glanced up at the clouds overhead. _No rain yet,_ he thought as the bus pulled away from the curb and made its way back into traffic. _Could get out of this without even getting wet – THAT would be a plus…_

With a sigh, he looked up at the great, sea-green building in front of him. The bus, as luck would have it, not only let him off in front of the entrance to Kurusugawa Electronics, it let him out less than a hundred paces from the door to the main office. It didn't look too welcoming, he decided, but a promise was a promise – and the way he figured it, it would only take him ten minutes or so to cruise in, ask his question, and get back to the bus stop.

"Probably more like cruise in, get thrown out, and get back to the bus stop," he muttered to himself. "They're not just going to tell me to go right in, after all… why did I think this was a good idea – and why am I talking to myself?"

Closing his mouth, Hiroyuki walked up to the huge double doors, reaching out to push them open a second before they slid back of their own accord.

_Nice,_ he thought appreciatively, _they didn't even make a sound._

Stepping through the entrance, Hiroyuki was further impressed by the interior. Glass and steel rose up from the ceramic tile floor in a graceful, curving dance, drawing the eye to the dizzying, vaulted ceiling – a minimum of thirty feet overhead – and easily dazzling any visitor into a state of humbleness.

And the front desk – a monstrosity of hand carved wood and precious metal inlays – actually drew a whistle of appreciation from the young man, and, a moment later, a blush, as he realized there was someone sitting behind it.

"Umm, hi."

"Good afternoon sir," the receptionist – a pretty woman with blonde-streaked brown hair – said brightly. "What can I do for you?"

"Er, yeah," Hiroyuki said uncertainly, stepping closer to the main desk, "I'm…"

He trailed off as he noticed two wing-like antennae peeking out through the woman's glossy hair.

"Please don't be alarmed, sir," the receptionist said warmly. "I am Alpha 231 – designated Taeko. As you can see, I am a robot maid." She smiled brightly. "As a spokesman for Kurusugawa Electronics I will be glad to answer any questions you may have about robot maid availability, functionality, or distribution."

Somewhat at a loss for words, Hiroyuki said, "Actually, I was supposed to ask for Doctor Fujin or Doctor Raijin… a friend of mine is… is one of your, um… sisters…?"

"I understand, sir," the maid said briskly, rising to her feet and coming around the desk, "you have a programming related question that your maid unit cannot satisfactorily answer, correct? Please follow me. Would you care for a brief history of the company while we walk, sir, or do you prefer silence?"

"Umm, I, I dunno," Hiroyuki sputtered, still unsure of how to talk to the woman.

_She's kinda like Multi,_ he thought as they started to walk deeper into the building, _but she's… man, she's gotta be the next step up or something. Her voice is perfect, she's not uncertain at ALL – Hell, she's even keeping herself EXACTLY the same distance in front of me, like down to the millimeter!_

To test his theory, Hiroyuki took an extra large step, trying to close the distance between them… and shaking his head in wonder as he ended up not so much as a hairsbreadth closer, though the receptionist never visibly broke stride.

_Amazing…_

"In case you are curious, sir," Taeko said cheerfully, "all robot maids manufactured by Kurusugawa Electronics are required to identify themselves as synthetic humans to any visitors of our headquarters – it avoids confusion, and potential embarrassment to any clients, reporters, or passersby."

Hiroyuki nodded. "Oh," he mumbled dumbly, "I see."

They walked in silence for several moments, finally coming to a small door marked, 'Division One.'

Standing in front of the door, Taeko turned to face Hiroyuki. "May I see your identification, sir?" she said, her voice taking on a regretful tone as she clarified, "This is an unsecured area, and federal law requires that any visitors to this division provide identification in the unlikely event of bodily harm or death."

"Death?" Hiroyuki blurted. "What's in there?"

Taeko smiled reassuringly. "It's a federal law, sir," she said apologetically, "to my knowledge, there is nothing dangerous past this door, but seeing as we _do_ have manufacturing facilities onsite, we are required to identify any and all persons entering or leaving unsecured areas. Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience."

_She's not like Multi,_ Hiroyuki thought suddenly, fishing in his pocket for his school ID. _Multi might not be as smooth as her, but she's definitely more human. People just don't talk like that._ Offering his ID to the maid, a further thought occurred to him. _Maybe they have her programmed like that on purpose… Hell, maybe they don't even really NEED those little things on their ears – but they keep them around so people THINK they need them…_

An involuntary shiver ran up his spine as his thoughts tap-danced around the edge of conspiracy theories and dark motives.

"Thank you sir," the maid said, giving his ID a cursory glance. "Please go right in."

Deducing that she had scanned his ID to memory, Hiroyuki slipped it back into his pocket, inexplicably uncomfortable with the idea of this multinational corporation knowing who he was.

"Th-thank you."

"You are most welcome," Taeko said, flashing him her plastic smile a final time before turning to head back the way they had come, "have a nice day."

Hiroyuki nodded. "Yeah," he whispered, "you too."

Pushing the door open, the young man found himself in a small office space, dotted liberally with cubicles and overflowing with computer components, wires, flat panel monitors, robotic arms, mannequins, and all varieties of equipment essential (as far as he knew) in the creation of robot maids.

_Could all be for show,_ he thought suddenly, wondering why he was so jumpy in this place, _is that… dust on that keyboard?_

Taking a step closer, he nearly cried out, noticing that one of the mannequins nearest the door was actually staring at him rather intently.

The man (since it WAS a man – a human one, as far as he could see) was short – and not much more than six years older than Hiroyuki himself. He had dark, beady little eyes that glittered sharply in his narrow face, looking as if they were ready to cut a person to the soul at a moment's notice. His hair was a tangle of short, black locks, shot through with gray – like badly dyed straw or wool – and he sported an uneven goatee, as if trying to hide the fact that his chin was weak and receding.

Overall, Hiroyuki decided impulsively, he looked somewhat like a picture of The Devil in an old book he had read as a child – an image reinforced when the man opened his mouth, speaking in a tone both menacing and silky at the same time.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm Hiroyuki Fujita – I was looking for Doctor Fujin or Doctor Raijin," Hiroyuki explained after a moment's hesitation, noticing belatedly that while the man was smoking an unfiltered cigarette… he was leaning against a rather large No Smoking sign. "I'm a friend of Multi's."

The dark-haired man looked blank for a moment. "Ahh," he said finally, tapping ashes onto the tile at his feet with careless ease. "Unit MHX-12, AKA Delta 43. Yes, any question you have on that unit can be directed to me – I'm Doctor Amagoi… I created her."

"Delta 43?" Hiroyuki said slowly, remembering the receptionist identifying herself as Alpha something or other. "Is that her model number or something?"

"Build and manufacture number, actually," Doctor Amagoi said briskly, his coffee-stained white lab coat rustling slightly as he gave a small shrug. "Alpha units are A tier maids – high potential, excellent test stats, perfected balance circuitry… the cream of the crop, if you will. The Delta units – like number 43 – are those that are not QUITE up to release standards, be it due to a defect in their neural programming or simple out-datedness, and have yet to be liquidated. Purely B tier hardware, if not C."

Hiroyuki frowned at this description of his friend. "Liquidated?"

"That's right," the scientist nodded. "If a maid unit is ineligible for release into the general workforce, it is generally liquidated. Now some of these units are kept around and used for pet projects like interaction studies or military testing, but eventually, they all end up in the same place." He shrugged as if to say that was the end of the topic, and said, "Now, you had a question…?"

Shaking himself to clear the image of Multi being dragged kicking and screaming towards a trash compactor while the unpleasant young scientist watched, Hiroyuki cleared his throat. "Multi asked me if I could tell her what it's like to kiss," he explained uneasily, getting the sudden, unshakable impression that the scientist would not care in the least, "but I was thinking it would be easier if you could just… I dunno, _put_ the info into her mind. Like a program or something."

"Mmm… no," Doctor Amagoi said immediately, dropping the cigarette on the floor and crushing it under his heel. "Was that all you needed? I have a five o'clock tee-time, though based on these clouds, I don't know-"

"Wait," Hiroyuki sputtered, finally finding his voice after the shock of the other man's flat refusal. "Why won't you do it?"

"Oh, I'll probably still go," the scientist yawned, taking out a crumpled pack of Camels and shaking one out, "if it starts raining, I can always-"

"Not that!" Hiroyuki cried. "Why won't you help Multi? She's your creation, isn't she? Why don't you want to see her happy?"

The older man stroked his beard thoughtfully for a moment, clearly intrigued by Hiroyuki's tenacity.

"It's a matter of functionality," he said finally, his tone benignly condescending as he slipped the cigarette between his lips. "Why, on Earth, should I take up valuable memory space with information pertaining to kissing? What use could that possibly serve in a production model like 43?"

Hiroyuki barely kept himself from frowning. "Umm, because she asked…?" he mumbled, taking an even stronger disliking to the man… and wondering what other models there might be besides 'production.' "Because she wants to know…?"

"And?" the scientist shrugged. Doctor Amagoi looked the young man up and down. "She's designed to be obedient," he said smoothly, "not the other way around. If I told her to strip naked and stroll through downtown Japan, she would." He grinned, but it was definitely not a pleasant sight. "I'd wager that she'd get more than a kiss, then."

"Multi would never do that," Hiroyuki said firmly, shaking his head for emphasis – and to ward off a slight chill at the man's callousness. "She told me once that she can't even undress to shower unless she knows there's no one else in the house. She's too shy."

"Shy," Doctor Amagoi chuckled. "The Shy Robot – sounds rather like children's book, doesn't it? I'll tell you, my young friend, she would do it… if I made it a Command Imperative."

"What's that?"

"A Command Imperative is an immediate, unquestionable order that a maid unit _must_ follow," Doctor Amagoi explained, seemingly pleased that he had an audience that was not already familiar with all of the robot maids' interior workings. "Anything you order – anything at all, including self-termination – will be executed utilizing one hundred percent of the unit's processor. It is usually prefaced by a series of code words, generally something complicated to avoid accidental activation, and each unit has its own string, to avoid having two units performing the same task by mistake." He stroked his chin, a habit that was starting to make Hiroyuki ill. "In fact… hmm, yes, perhaps that would be the best way to make you see…"

Abruptly, he strode over to his desk, quickly jotting something on a notepad. "What is this?" Hiroyuki asked suspiciously as the man tore the top sheet off the notepad and offered it to him.

"That's Delta 43's command string," Doctor Amagoi said lightly. "All humans have free will, Fujita-san, but that robot will do _anything_ you tell her to, if it's a Command Imperative. Give it a try sometime – you'll see. She is not what you think."

"But… but I've seen her think for herself," Hiroyuki protested. "She's been kind and thoughtful – and nicer than some people I know!"

"Pre-programmed responses and advanced, adaptive learning thought patterns," the scientist said dismissively, "that's all it is, Fujita-san, nothing more. She's not even 'thinking,' really – not the way you and I do. She has a set list of responses and reactions to any given situation, and a hyper-threading, nitrogen cooled processor capable of isolating the best possible answer to problems placed before her. Now, having seen her in action, you've probably ascertained that her clock speed isn't as high as it should be. She's a prototype, when you get right down to it… a Pentium in a world of Durons, condemned forever to operate at a lower level than anyone else around her."

He chuckled ruefully. "Sounds rather sad when you think of it that way, doesn't it? Like she's a slow child in a school for gifted youngsters… but I'm afraid that's the best analogy for how she compares to humans, or even some of the later models like the Alpha that showed you in – now _that_ is a fine machine."

Hiroyuki was silent for a moment. _If it was a person he was talking about, I'd punch him in the mouth,_ he thought, feeling his hands itching to ball into fists. _I just… can't see Multi the way he does. Maybe since he made her, it's easy to look at her like just another appliance, but to me… to me she's a friend…_

He raised his eyes, his lips tightening into a firm line as another thought crossed his mind.

_And I don't let people insult my friends._

"She's really smart," he said abruptly, "ya know? She learns really fast… faster than an ordinary computer."

Doctor Amagoi smiled, clearly amused by the young man's defiant tone. "It _is_ an excellent product, isn't it?"

This comment hit home in a big way.

"She," Hiroyuki said hotly, feeling his blood starting to boil. "Multi isn't just an 'it.'"

"Ahh, but she is," the scientist said with mock sadness. "A finely crafted 'it,' but an 'it' all the same."

Hiroyuki knew his temper slipping – another rare occurrence for him – and he struggled valiantly to keep it in check. "You're wrong," he said defiantly. "Multi is-"

"Let me make it crystal clear for you," Doctor Amagoi cut in dryly. "She can never be what you want her to be. She'll never catch a cold… she'll never age – unless we make her a more grownup body…" his eyes shone with malicious sarcasm, his voice lowering to a sickeningly conspiratorial whisper. "She'll never bear your children, Hiroyuki-kun, do you get it? She's _not_… human."

Hiroyuki bowed his head, his face blank and expressionless as he considered the scientist's words. Finally, after several long moments of silence, he said, "So you're saying that Multi was programmed to care for me?"

Doctor Amagoi's smug grin faded slightly. "Caring for others is a part of her program," he said coolly, "she's a robot maid – if she doesn't care for those she is employed to, and build rapport and empathy with them, what would keep them from throwing her in the trash and hiring a human maid? People don't like robots that act like robots, Fujita-san – I can show you a 674 page marketing research study, if you don't feel like taking my word for it."

"That's ok," Hiroyuki said smoothly, struggling to hold back the tide of anger inside of him as it threatened to wash him away. Gathering his thoughts carefully, he took a deep breath and asked, "So you're saying… her wanting to know what a kiss feels like was a pre-programmed desire to be closer to her owner? Actually, I _would_ like to see the marketing document on that, doctor. Does she offer sexual favors, too? …or is that another line?"

The smile was now conspicuously absent from the doctor's face. "43's program was designed with a billion variables," he said flatly, his lip curling slightly in an unpleasant sneer. "She is prepared for any situation – any eventuality… if she's looking to experience physical affection, then it means her logic algorithm has dictated that it is required for-"

Hiroyuki laughed, cutting the man off. "Required?" he snorted. "Listen, I've never even _mentioned_ kissing around her – and I sure never ordered her to do it, or anything like that… why is it so hard to believe that her 'program' _might_ have grown past your initial design?"

"Allowing for actual emotional response?" Doctor Amagoi scoffed. "Spare me, young man – that's science fantasy, nothing more. Do you know how improbable it is for her to be attracted to you on anything deeper than a logical level? The mechanics just aren't in place for it." Abruptly, he turned away from Hiroyuki, walking over to a filing cabinet and yanking a drawer open. "Here," he said, pulling out a small bit of plastic and flipping it in Hiroyuki's general direction.

"That's a memory chip we used to send to cleaning companies all over Japan before our product launch. It has ALL of 43's specifications in it, from the number of screws that hold her thigh bone to her hip bone to the _limit_ of her neuro-emotional matrix. Think of it as a gift, Fujita-san, one that will answer any question you may have about that robot's operational ceiling. Any time you feel yourself starting to believe that she can ever be more than a simple synth-maid, you pop that chip into your computer and give it a look. I guarantee that five minutes of reading through her programming code specifications will cure you of any delusions you might have."

Hiroyuki stared at the chip for a moment, opening his mouth give a rather scathing comment about the doctor's skepticism… but closing it and giving the man a polite bow, instead. "Thank you for your time, Doctor," he said quietly, forcing his tone to exhibit respect he did not feel. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Goodbye, Fujita-san," Doctor Amagoi said evenly. "I trust you will not be darkening my doorstep any time in the future, correct?"

"No sir," Hiroyuki said quietly, "I've found the answers I was looking for."

"Excellent."

( 0 0 0 )

"Hiroyuki-Sempai!"

Barely glancing up at the sound of his name, Hiroyuki said, "Oh, hey Multi… what are you doing here?"

The maid smiled guiltily. "I wanted to meet you," she admitted, "to see what you found out. I'm sorry for being so pushy – I've just been so curious lately! I dunno why, but suddenly I want to know everything… weird, huh?"

_Isn't curiosity human?_ Hiroyuki thought wryly, nodding a reply to the maid, _Or_ _is that just another function?_

He reached into his pocket, pondering the question as Multi fell in step at his side.

"So, did you find out anything interesting?" she asked after a minute, trying not to fidget as Hiroyuki slowly dropped a small piece of plastic on the ground, crushing it methodically under his heel before looking up at her and giving her a gentle smile.

"I learned a couple things," he said enigmatically.

"Really?" Multi asked hopefully. "What, Sempai?"

"Well…"

The maid's eyes widened as the young man put his hands on her upper arms and pulled her closer to him, bringing his mouth down over hers. _What is… this…?_ she thought, her body shuddering slightly as Hiroyuki's warm lips gently played across her own. _So… it's so…_

Words failed her as her eyes slowly slipped closed, leaving her staring into darkness as the boy's strong arms eased around her, drawing her closer still as that wonderful sensation went on and on and on. Kiss, kissed, kissing – the variations of the word streaked through Multi's processor in an unbroken string, shutting down several lower-priority processes to dedicate more of her CPU's clock time to analyzing this new, undeniably exciting experience.

Long before she wanted it to, Multi found the kiss ending. She staggered slightly as Hiroyuki released her, putting a hand on his chest for balance as her knees trembled under her. "S-sorry, Sempai," she managed, touching her cheek with her free hand and finding the skin there rather warm. "My… gyrostabilizers seem to be… in need of some tuning."

Hiroyuki put a hand under the maid's chin, lifting her downcast eyes until she was forced to look him in the face. "Is that… all you wanted?" he asked softly.

"P-pardon?"

"Is that all you wanted, Multi? Just to know what it felt like to be kissed?"

Confused, Multi stammered, "I, umm… yes. I didn't mean for you to _do_ it… I just thought maybe you could describe it to me."

"I see."

_Maybe that prick was right,_ Hiroyuki thought glumly, stepping back from the maid and forcing her to stand on her own two feet. '_Pre-programmed responses and advanced, adaptive learning thought patterns.'_

"Well…" he said lightly, "now you know, huh?"

"Y-yeah…"

With a polite bow, Hiroyuki turned to leave. _Funny,_ he thought distantly, _I really believed there was more to her than that. God, don't ask me why – I mean, I KNOW she's a robot, I know that! I just… I wanted to think that-_

"…wait."

Hiroyuki froze as he felt a light, tentative touch on his sleeve. Glancing over his shoulder, he found Multi carefully holding onto his shirt, her head bowed so low that her bangs obscured her pretty green eyes. "What is it, Multi?" he asked, trying not to feel a thrill of excitement at the unexpected move.

_See? _he thought triumphantly. _She CAN think for herself!_

"I… maybe I didn't understand your question," Multi said awkwardly. "I'd like-" Abruptly, she let her hand fall to her side, shaking her head as if waking from a sweet, impossible dream. "Never mind," she said suddenly. "Never mind, Sempai… have a nice day."

"No," Hiroyuki said quickly, "no, go on, Multi… tell me what you were going to say."

Multi shook her head. "It's stupid, Sempai," she said awkwardly, "I don't want to waste any more of your time."

Frowning, Hiroyuki turned back to face her, rising to his full height and making her shrink back in sudden fear. "Tell me," he said, his voice low and firm. "I don't want to make it a Command Imperative, Multi, but Doctor Amagoi told me how."

The maid's cheeks – already pale by nature of her fabrication – went dead white at the mention of her creator's name. "Y-you talked to… Him…?" she choked, trembling slightly as she thought of her harsh dismissal from the Alpha program.

Seeing fear – real, _human_ fear – etched on the maid's face, Hiroyuki's expression softened. "I don't like him," he said quietly, putting a hand on Multi's shoulder. "I think he's a jerk who doesn't even understand his own creations. I'd never make anything a Command Imperative, Multi – I'm sorry I even said it… but please, I'd like to know what you were going to say just now."

"Alright," Multi whispered meekly, her shoulders slumping as she stared down at the ground. "I was just going to say that I… oh, this is so hard – I'd like to spend… more time with you, Hiroyuki-Sempai…"

"Why?"

"Huh?"

Hiroyuki crossed his arms. "I said why," he murmured coolly. "If you don't make it clear exactly what you want, I won't know. I'm kind of stupid about stuff like this, Multi – so you have to pretend that _I'm_ the one who needs to be programmed, or we'll just go back to the way we were before you started asking about kisses. If that's what you want, just say so, but if there's something else you have in mind – let me know."

"Umm, alright," Multi said slowly, "I think I'd – no, I'd _like_ to spend more time with you, to see what it would be like to be close to you. I'm not… good at stuff like this either, Hiroyuki-Sempai – I don't have the programming for it – but I'd… well, I guess I want to go out with you… if you'd like to, I mean." She bowed her head. "I don't know what to say."

"Start with Hiroyuki-_san_, or Hiroyuki-_kun_," the young man replied simply. "I don't mind spending more time with you, Multi-chan, but I don't really like the 'Sempai,' or… why are you blushing?"

Multi put a hand on her cheek. "O-oh," she gasped, "I am. I, um, I think it's because… you called me chan… sorry…"

Frowning, Hiroyuki said, "Akari calls you chan all the time. So does Masashi."

With a weak smile, Multi whispered simply, "They aren't you."

"Ah."

The two students shifted awkwardly for a moment, each gazing up at the cloudy horizon in thoughtful silence as they gathered their thoughts – one relying on circuitry and relays, the other working solely on chemical reactions and neurons… both reaching the same end result in very nearly the same nanosecond.

"So."

"So."

Blinking as they spoke at the exact same time, Hiroyuki and Multi looked at each other in amazement, and began to laugh. _Just a machine,_ Hiroyuki thought, wrapping an arm around Multi's shoulders and starting off down the street, _with all due respect, Doctor Amagoi, you… are an idiot._

"Do you… wanna go see a movie or something?"

"Hai…"

Maybe the scientist was right – maybe she was 'just' a machine… but when Multi tentatively put her arm around his waist and gave him a hesitant, uncertain smile, Hiroyuki found himself doubting it. Perhaps that was how she had started, and perhaps he was the only one who would ever see it, but to him, Multi was nothing more – or less – than a pretty girl with a big heart and a warm smile.

And that, he decided as they headed into the city on their first date, was good enough for him.

The End

Author's Notes: yes, it's a little on the sappy side – but for crying out loud, To Heart is like, 99.98 sap to begin with! Oh well. I'm sure Hiroyuki/Multi pairings are pretty common, and I'd wager that even this idea has been fairly well used – and the issue of humanoid robots dating real people is _definitely_ not original, with many of the arguments in here having been nicked from Chobits, Steel Angel Kurumi, Hand Maid May… gracious, I could go on all day! My only hope here is that I managed to entertain for a few minutes and present a story that is at least mildly plausible for my first foray into the hyper-WAFFY world of To Heart. I marked this story with 'the end' because I'm not sure about doing a continuation… I mean, I left it open for one, but I don't want to commit if this one is badly received, or if I don't have enough inspiration to actually produce a good sequel. I guess we'll have to see what happens…

But for now – thanks for reading!

One last note: I have not seen To Heart 2, Remember my Memories, yet, so this story does not take it into account at all.

Pre-read (and main inspiration) for this fic was by Stahn Aileron, who said, "Dude, think you can do a good To Heart fic?" I dunno, man, what do you think? Can I…?


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